How Hollywood gets it wrong 🎥 ❌

When Netflix dropped Nonnas, a "feel-good" Vince Vaughn flick about the restaurant business, we just knew we needed to write about it.

Here’s the synopsis: After losing his beloved mother, a man risks everything to honor her by opening an Italian restaurant with actual nonnas — grandmothers — as the chefs.

Cute premise and who doesn't love Italian food, but what made our blood pressure rise to dangerous Florida PTA book banning levels was the Hollywood treatment of opening a restaurant. Yes, it’s “based on a true story,” but just like Vince Vaughn’s forehead, the story is pumped full of neurotoxins to make opening a restaurant look smooth and carefree.

This is what infuriates us. Real people are going to watch that movie and think, “you know, my grandma’s meatballs really are the best, and all you really need is love and a good red sauce to make it work."

📢 Real talk: opening any brick and mortar business is tough, and restaurants are REALLY tough. If you do manage to get open without being fully prepared and/or capitalized, you could watch your life savings incinerate in a pizza oven.

So in the event that you or a loved one are seduced by Lorraine Bracco in an apron, here are three big things Nonnas gets wrong and what to do if you'd rather do things right.

1. Going from “I have an idea” to “I already bought it” in a week.

That’s not inspiring — that’s reckless. 🚩

It’s also not really possible, but that’s not the point. We’re supposed to think that diving headfirst into a pool before you check the depth is an act of passionate courage. It’s not. While it’s absolutely fine to passionately declare your intention to open or buy a business, you have a lot to do before you’re in a position to fully commit.

What’s so frustrating about this plot detail is that it low-key glorifies financial impulsivity. And while I’m sure most people can see the hubris in this, the reality is that there are two very dangerous realities about being a new business owner that lead to impulsive decisions all the time:

❗️ There is so much about the process that is foreign, confusing, and overwhelming, that the same determination needed to open a business ends up pushing people to ignore or avoid whatever seems to be standing in their way like due diligence and lengthy negotiations.

‼️  There are remarkably low barriers to entry in retail. This is both wonderful and dangerous. While basically anyone can sink an inheritance on a startup business, anyone can sink an inheritance on a startup business.

Put these two together. Not a great combo.

2. Spending $175K of your $200K budget up front.

Absolutely not. 🔥 

In Nonnas, bro drops $175K right out of the gate and plans to use the remaining $25K to cover architectural plans for permit, inspections, legal fees, equipment, signage, inventory, pre-opening marketing, FF&E, staffing, insurance, opening inventory, smallwares, supplies and a partridge in a pear tree. He also expected his bestie to do all the construction for free. Good luck getting the project insured, my friend.

This is possibly the most egregious plot detail. Opening a restaurant – heck, ANY retail business – for $25k even if you own the building – is like me trying to buy a brand new Porsche with $1,300 and vibes. Not going to happen unless your “restaurant” is a hot dog cart.

3. Trying to keep your full-time job… that’s on-site and 30 miles away.

That's a recipe for burnout and bad decisions. 🥵

In the movie, Joe/Vince keeps his job at the MTA in New Jersey — while simultaneously opening a restaurant which requires a complete gut-job of a renovation in Staten Island. The google says these locations are 17.4 miles apart. That’s a 30-minute commute each way on a good day. 

Furthermore, our leading man seems to be managing the entire project himself. Now this works in the film because it’s fiction, but in real life, I’d give this arrangement two weeks before it breaks down. Time and attention are limited resources, and opening and running a restaurant is hard enough when you live upstairs. 

Since most people need to keep their full time jobs as long as possible before the new business opens, figuring out how and when to make the transition is something that requires lots of planning – it’s not a commit first, ask questions later kinda thing.

4. 5. 6…Other eyeroll moments

🍅  Fully stocking the kitchen and prepping food during active construction and before the health inspection

👵  Anchoring the staff with nonnas who have no commercial kitchen experience and who require durable medical equipment to get around.

🎟️  Believing that a single recipe is the magical ticket to restaurant success

…

For the sake of future generations of restaurant owners, movies like this really should come with a warning in the opening credits like: ⚠️“Inspired by a true story but definitely not an accurate description of what opening a business is really like. Please consult your financial advisor and business planning specialists before making irreversible decisions.”

If you want guidance on how to do things the right way, you know where to find us.