I watched a lot of Millionaire Matchmaker in my 20s, and I find myself thinking about the show even today. I KNOW that Patti Stanger turned out to be totally problematic in a zillion different ways, but since we didn’t get cancelled when Sheila published an excellent newsletter about Anne Hathaway’s age-defying face, I’m feeling emboldened.

On the show, Patti and her team of punk rock assistants would work with a client - usually an older “millionaire” seeking a young woman to ride shotgun in his red Ferrari. Ick. Patti would usually deliver said women - but that’s not where she’d start. No, first we’d start with an amusing romp through the man’s dating history, trying to detangle what’s go...

You don’t need to read your lease. You just need to know what it says.

I had lunch recently with a veteran commercial insurance broker. She works for pretty large independent agency in my area, and she’s an insurance woman like I’m a retailer — born into the business and steeped in years of first-hand experience. She insures small businesses — all types of insurance and all types of businesses (shocker: scrap yards are dangerous!), and she admitted that restaurants and bars are her favorite businesses to insure...but mostly because it’s more fun to meet a client there than in a scrap yard.

Anyhoo, our conversation turned to leases (as most of my conversations do), and she spoke the...

It's flipping freezing outside, and that means we've been binging spending plenty of quality time at home with our friends Netflix and Hulu thinking about Miranda. No, not that Miranda) - we're watching true crime and thinking about Miranda Rights. You know,

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?

We got to wishing there were Miranda Rights for retail space tours. Don't get us wrong - there is no shortage of laws designe...

You’re chatting with a regular when they casually mention the news. Or maybe you’re scrolling Instagram when you come across a cheery, sponsored “We’re Hiring” post. Or, maybe worst of all, you spot a shiny, new “Coming Soon” sign in the window across the street.

No matter how it happens, nothing will ruin your day like learning a direct competitor is coming to your block, to your community, or just too close for comfort.

Competition in business is as certain as death and taxes - it’s only a matter of time before you’re going head to head with another business that will compete for your customers' attention and money.

And while you can negotiate an exclusive in your lease, that doesn...

A few weeks ago, we talked about why you shouldn't be afraid of a ten-year lease term, but we know that many new retailers are most comfortable starting with a five-year term (or even shorter).

If you determine that a shorter lease term is best for your business, here are two tips to keep in mind:

1. Ask for multiple renewal terms of at least three to five years a piece. If things are going well, you do not want to find yourself homeless with a growing business.

2. Negotiate your lease like you're committing to it for ten years or more. You may be tempted to think that you don't need to think long term in a short term deal...

BUT leases are like dogs, and just as you house train a puppy ...

In my experience, the strangest part of being a retailer was the constant state of emotional turmoil. There’s a lot that goes into this feeling, but one of the biggies is the total disconnect between how you think you're supposed to feel — fabulous and empowered and like it's always (as Lizzo would say) "bad b*tch o'clock" — and reality.

Because, on the one side, you’re the boss. The owner. The founder. The creative mind behind the concept. The one in charge.

But at the exact same time, you’re always feeling bossed around by everyone and everything else pretty much all the time…

Perpetually at the mercy of your customers. Your staff. Your vendors. The weather. The HVAC system. The...

You probably already know that the cost of building out a retail space is often the single largest line item in a pre-opening budget. The fact of the matter is that there’s not a whole lot to be done about this. If you need to modify a space to suit your business, you’re going to spend some serious cash — the more dramatic the changes, the more dramatically you’ll need to dig into your wallet.

If you’re do any sort of construction work, many of the costs will be beyond your (and even your contractors’) control. Every commercial contractor is working with the same framework: labor, materials, overhead, and profit. Remember, they’re running businesses, too.

So, even though there may not be a...

I am ten years out of a commercial lease, and I am almost out of the hole. My scarlet BK will be removed from the sweater of my credit report in September.

Today, I am committed to helping people make good decisions and get good deals on their leases, because I know what it feels like to have it all go very wrong.

I’ll tell you the whole story of my first child (RIP: Punk’s Backyard Grill 2009 - 2013), another time. But for now, let’s start here...

If my experience were a cocktail, it would have been equal parts severe anxiety, disappointment, luminous pride, absolute ridiculousness, and deep joy. The day-to-day was just those five parts auto-cycling every 12 hours.

And when I think ab...